5 Words That Will Change Your Life
No matter how much progress you have made or where you are on your journey of personal development, it is easy to get caught up in old habits and ways of thinking. For me, I put myself last on my to-do list for so long (or just left myself off of my list) that sometimes I forget to prioritize what I need…especially during busier days, weeks, or seasons I experience.
Speaking of seasons, the month of August was a monster…a friendly one, but a big one to befriend.
Those 31 days included soaking up the last weeks of summer with my family, the start of sports seasons for two of my kids, back-to-school shopping and school kick-off (including the whole new world of having a kid in high school), starting a part-time job working for our local Regional Office of Education, teaching a brand new class at a local university, networking with companies and schools about providing future professional development for their employees, and preparing and delivering a global keynote on health and wellness. I left a few items off that list, but you get the point…it was A LOT.
Knowing it was going to be a busy August, I kept a few things in mind so that I could maintain my routines, habits, and mindsets that I’ve developed the past few years:
M morning walks are my non-negotiable. Starting my day with movement and fresh air gives me energy, perspective, and a clear mind to conconquer my day.
I stay consistent with healthy habits like staying hydrated all day long and eating nutritious meals and snacks. Fueling my body in this way helps me stay energized and prevents brain fog.
I use time management strategies (like time chunking and the Eisenhower Matrix) to look at my day and get things done that are on my to-do list.
I use positive thinking and mantras throughout the day. As soon as I wake up, I begin with this morning mantra: “Today is going to be awesome. Universe, show me how great life gets.”
I take a few minutes over morning coffee to do my “Power Practice” which includes a brain dump, setting intentions, and expressing gratitude.
At the end of the day, I spend a few minutes reading or journaling. These activities are moments of rest and provide rejuvenation for my soul. Ending the day with some quiet time and doing something that I love brings me joy and helps me fall asleep.
And, each day--especially when I begin to feel stress or anxiety about all that is ahead, or when I notice that I want to push off doing things that help me perform at my optimal level-- I ask myself this question in the third person…
What does Kristen need today?
Why Those 5 Words Matter
In his book Resilient: How to Grow An Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness, Hanson’s first chapter focuses on compassion. He encourages individuals to treat themselves as if they would treat a friend-- to extend the same compassion we would to others to ourselves, especially in times of struggle. He asks, “Who’s the one person you can affect the most? It’s yourself, both you in this moment and your future self: the person you will be in the next minute, week, or year. If you think of yourself as someone to whom you have a duty of care and kindness, what might change in how you talk to yourself, and how you go about your day?” (p. 11).
When we focus on what we need to be our best version of ourselves, we turn the focus back to our goals, desires, emotions, and behaviors that can take us closer to the person we desire to be. In addition, “Being good to yourself is good for others. When people increase their own well-being, they usually become more patient, cooperative, and caring in their relationships. Think about how it would benefit others if you felt less stressed, worried, or irritated, and more peaceful, contented, and loving” (Hanson, p. 11).
Being for yourself means that you are on your own side. You are intentional about prioritizing what you need as you go about your day. And each step you take for yourself, fulfills your responsibility to yourself. That way, you can go about your day being the person you want to be.
In my Journal titled “Be-Do-Have,” I explore how this identity framework is a powerful strategy that individuals can use to move toward personal goals and desires. By asking myself the question, “What does Kristen need today?” I can think about what I need in order to be the version of myself that I desire. Then, I take action on what comes to mind.
Asking yourself this question in third person, versus first person, allows you to zoom out, look at yourself as if a friend would look at you, and determine what you personally need in that moment or in the near future.
“The Golden Rule is a Two-Way Street”
Remember, treat yourself with compassion as if you would treat a friend. Hanson suggests that “the Golden Rule is a two-way street” (p.11). We need to do unto ourselves as if we would do unto others. Whatever advice you give yourself at that moment, follow it.
Maybe you’re at work and need to take a few deep breaths, a stretch break while sitting at your desk, a short walk around your building, or maybe you just need to go eat a healthy snack. At the end of a long day, maybe what comes to mind is that you need to spend some uninterrupted time with your spouse or children, go on an evening walk, or find some quiet time alone watching the sunset or journaling before bed. Whatever you need, do it for yourself.
Treat yourself with kindness. Use those five words to change your life. A little bit at a time, by applying the Golden Rule to yourself, your mindset will shift toward prioritizing what you need so that you can thrive no matter what season you are in.
Photo credit Kaja Kadlecova
