Step Into Your Future Self

Written By Dr. Kristen Strom

Sometimes it hits me…life today seems so much easier than it was a few years ago. Tasks that seemed to overwhelm me before no longer create stress for me. Routines that I had trouble establishing for years are now just “part of my life.” Sure, there are still some things that create some overwhelm, but I am more aware of those feelings and I actively work to figure out what’s behind them. 

Take for example my walking routine of getting 10-12k steps per day, scheduling my workouts so that I consistently do 3-4/week, meal prepping, reading and writing daily,being intentional about the time I spend with my husband, children, and friends, and accomplishing a long list of tasks related to work, being “Mom,” homeownership, and the list goes on. 

These things have become easy and part of my daily routine because I have consistently put daily steps into place that have become habitual. I have built systems to accomplish them, and they are now on autopilot. But it wasn’t always that way. 

When I began my journey of making some major (and minor) changes in my life, I took a good, hard look at my current life and identified what I didn’t want anymore or areas I struggled and/or needed to improve. Then, I looked at what I desired for my future self. From there, I could identify small steps that would lead me toward the changes I wanted to see. My “Smart Steps for Change” Journal explains this in detail. “Smart” steps are ones you’ve identified that are 1) sustainable, 2) meaningful, 3) actionable, 4) reliable, and 5) timely. 

By identifying smart steps in different areas of my life, I have a roadmap for where I want to go in order to achieve the future identity I desire. It is then up to me to execute my plan. I just have to start, one day at a time. 

I use this strategy for different areas of my life-- whether it’s a professional goal, a health goal, a relationship goal-- I can examine where I am now versus where I want to go and build a path forward from there. Then, I need to step into my future identity in order to become the person that I desire to be and I need to put systems in place to lead me there.

An Example: My Old Writing Identity Vs. My Future Writing Identity

Goal: Become a writer

One area of my identity that I continue to struggle with is becoming “a writer.” You’d think that having a PhD in English Studies, teaching almost two decades of composition courses to high school and college students, and being published in journals and edited books, that I would see myself as a “writer” and have steps in place for getting writing done easily. Nope!

Let me fill you in on a secret: the habits of sitting behind my laptop to crank out a paper that I developed during my undergrad years continued throughout my master’s program, doctoral classes, and my dissertation. I knew no other way of “writing.” And I never saw myself as “a writer.”

It went like this: the professor assigns a paper, I begin to work on it in a timely manner so that I have enough time to get a solid draft done before putting final revisions on it, and then I’d submit it. Rinse and repeat. Sound familiar, anyone?!

Writing a dissertation is a whole different beast, but it was similar. There are deadlines to meet, writing tasks to complete, research, reading, drafts, revisions, and that process continues on and on until the project moves towards something that is coherent and makes an argument for whatever it is that you’re researching. (It’s much more complex than that, but you get the gist.) 

Likewise, when it comes time to write academic journal articles or book chapters, my routines are more of the same, and deadlines determine much of the work. 

So when I had a goal to become “a writer,” my experiences were influenced by my past writing experiences in academia. 

However, without assignments, research to complete, or deadlines, I felt lost. It was a type of writing-- the “real writing” of authors, not students-- that I needed to work on. I was the one in charge, no one else. I determined the timeline and pace, no one else. I determined the revisions and feedback, no one else. I had to fully step into the identity of someone that writes, and I quickly realized that it was completely up to me to do so. 

I knew one thing: if I were to be a writer, I had to write more often, and eventually try to write each day. So that’s where I started. I began to schedule 2-3 writing sessions per week so that I could build my writing stamina and eventually write more often.

In my research about what other individuals do to get into a writing routine, I learned that many writers wake up earlier than the rest of their household to get their writing done before their family wakes up-- so I tried that. But I hated waking up at 4:45am to get to my desk by 5am with a warm cup of coffee in hand so that I had 2 solid hours of uninterrupted writing time. Did I get writing done? Sure. But was it sustainable or reliable? Nope. I had to adjust. Writing was meaningful to me, but I had to take action in a different way so that the step of writing more often was also sustainable, reliable, and timely for my stage of life. 

So, I scheduled my writing time at different times of the day to see what would be sustainable for carrying out this routine over a long period of time. Because if I were to assume the identity of a writer, then I needed to be a writer more often. 

After a few months, I found that I do my best writing after I drop my children at school and go on my morning walk. At that point, the house is quiet and my body and mind are clear and ready to do the creative work of writing. So, that’s when I write. And depending on the time of year, I schedule 3-4 days of writing time each week on my calendar. 

To this day, I do my best writing during those mid-morning hours and it feels easy. But for so long, it felt hard. I had to figure out the “smart” steps that would lead me to taking on this identity and then execute them, reflect, adjust, and execute again. I had to figure out a system that worked for me and no one else.

And because of the season of life I’m in with my children's ages, summer schedules, and other personal and professional obligations, some days are easier than others to get my writing done. But I adjust and try again the next day. I have a routine that I can rely on that I know works for my current stage of life to allow me to step into the identity of being a writer.

No matter what I want for my future self and identity, I take time to reflect on who I am now versus who I want to be and I continue to use the “smart” step strategy to create a path forward toward my destination. 

What Others Say About Stepping Into Your Future Self

I’ve read a number of books and listened to podcast episodes that discuss this concept of the current self versus the future self. They highlight strategies and research for how individuals can step into the identity of the person they want to become. Utilize my “smart” step strategy or try out one of their suggestions for your personal, professional, health, wellness, and/or relationship goals. Dig into these resources and take action. One step at a time, you will become the person you are meant to be.

James Clear’s Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

This was a book I read with the goal I had in mind to “become a writer.” I knew that I had to establish better habits around my writing routines, and Clear’s advice provided specific strategies for doing so. So much of his book resonated with how I had previously built routines around habits related to my health and fitness, so I knew that applying these concepts more specifically to writing--and other areas of my life that I wanted to improve-- would be helpful. I highly suggest keeping a pen and sticky notes handy when you read this book. Write ideas that come to mind as you read each chapter so that you can easily take action. 

You can visit his website (www.jamesclear.com) to download a sample chapter of his book, sign up for his newsletter, or download his app “Atoms.”

Steven Furtick’s Do The New You: 6 Mindsets to Become Who You Were Created To Be

As I developed my brand, website, and my writing and speaking identity, Furtick’s mindsets helped me to realize that I needed to “step into the new me” each day. I had to get clear on what I wanted to achieve, and then put in the work each day to become that person. His advice, grounded in truly understanding God’s purpose for my life, encouraged me to have the courage to step into my calling. 

Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

I heard Rubin on a podcast and knew I had to read her book. These days, I’m realizing just how happy I am and how good it feels to be here…compared to the years of exhaustion, stress, and overwhelm I previously experienced. I wanted to learn how she intentionally worked to find happiness in her life, in hopes that I could learn a thing or two about keeping moments of happiness alive in my daily life. The next day, I walked into my local library and checked the book out. I flew through it, putting sticky notes next to research on happiness and her real life examples. Her book helped me realize that 1) happiness can be created, and I’ve intentionally worked on that for over 2 years…no wonder I am a happier person, 2) there are things I can continue to do and new things I can try to harness even more happiness, 3) I can do things for others that can spread happiness into their life, and 4) life is short, we get one chance to make the most it, and it can change in an instant--we all have the desire to find happiness in our relationships, work, service to others, and how we use our time in this world. (I also learned that when it comes to nonfiction, I just need to buy the book-- that way, I can look back at my notes as I take the suggested steps towards whatever it is that I’m learning.)

Rubin’s website has a wealth of resources for finding happiness in your life (www.gretchenrubin.com/books/the-happiness-project/). You can download a sample chapter of the book, you can sign up for her newsletter, and she has “The Happiness Project Companion Guide” available for individuals who want to start their own happiness project.

Podcast episodes that may help you step into your future self:

No matter where you start, my advice is to just start. Your future self will look back at the person you are today and be grateful for the steps you took toward whatever it is that you want to work on. And as always, I’m here cheering you on!


Photo credit Dayne Topkin

Dr. Kristen Strom
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